Divorces are stressful, even amicable ones. Closing an important chapter in your life isn’t always easy. When shared children are involved, your stress levels can reach all new highs. You’re worried about the divorce’s impact on your children’s lives. The last thing you want is for your co-parenting agreement to add to their stress.
While having a set visitation schedule is crucial, it doesn’t always need to be permanently set in stone. There are some potential advantages of a flexible parenting schedule worth taking a look at. After all, your goal as a parent is to ensure your children feel loved and secure after a divorce.
Don’t be surprised if you and your former partner find yourselves constantly reassuring your children that divorce is in no way their fault. Even when children understand they’re not the cause of their parents' divorce, their fear and anxiety usually don’t go away. Children, even teens, often worry if they’ll still get to spend time with both parents.
This is a reason why it’s pretty much always a good idea to have a shared parenting schedule. Both parents get to spend time with their children. Your kids also get reassurance their parents still want them in their lives.
When it comes to creating a co-parenting plan, you can follow a template or design a schedule. However, regardless of how your parenting schedule looks it’s a good idea to leave room for some flexibility. Don’t forget that life rarely goes exactly how you plan. When a hiccup happens, having a little flexibility can go a long way.
Before we dive any further into the potential advantages of a flexible parenting schedule, there’s something to address. If the court is the one creating the parenting schedule, flexibility is often limited. The court, in this case, family court, typically only steps in when divorcing parents can’t reach a visitation agreement. When the parenting schedule is set down by the court, consider it law. Veering too far off the court-arranged schedule can have legal ramifications.
Things are a little different when you and your former partner create a shared parenting plan without the court’s assistance. You have some leeway when life happens. Maybe, your home remodeling project is running behind. The last thing you want is your kids playing in what’s basically a construction zone. For everyone’s safety and sanity, it’s probably best if your children stay an extra day or so with the other parent. Your spouse may need to miss a visitation day due to a work emergency. Instead of sending their children to childcare, you step up.
You’ve probably heard the old saying about the best-laid plans almost always seem to wander off the tracks. This can be especially true during vacations. Flight delays and cancellations are all too common.
What’s almost always an annoyance can turn extremely stressful if you’re in a rigid co-parenting agreement. How are you supposed to make it to the pick-up point on time when you’re stuck at the airport? A flexible child visitation agreement helps ensure you’re not penalized for taking a well-deserved vacation.
Even a toddler’s schedule can get out of whack. So, what can this do to your carefully created parenting plan? You should expect some disruptions, maybe even significant ones. Whether your child comes down sick or has an overnight activity, your parenting plan needs a bit of adjusting.
Since you and your former partner have a flexible child visitation schedule, everything’s under control. When your child feels better, they can spend time with the other parent. The same applies when an unexpected event pops up.
Flexibility is a great thing to have in a shared parenting plan where you and your spouse are ready to make some changes when life decides to toss in a curveball. Flexibility can also help alleviate some stress—however, there’s also such a thing as too much flexibility.
The goal is to stick as close as possible to the original parenting plan. Be ready to deal with changes as they come up, but it shouldn’t be a daily thing. If you notice changes to your shared parenting schedule one or more times every month, it’s probably time to revisit the original schedule. There’s nothing wrong with revamping a co-parenting schedule, it’s even encouraged.
